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06:30pm 05/12/2002
  Bye Bye this LJ. Too many people know the name and this was suppose to be the more private personal one... i quit. hah... Im making a new one, name... not gonna tell. But it's gonna be a lot more open to people and stuff.
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05:57pm 03/12/2002
mood: happy
Well... today went by kinda fast. Meeting Mark was REALLY good. I waited for him outside for like 5 mins and then I saw him and I was like ahhh! He's not hot, but he's super cute. So then we walked around the otuside of the school for a few minutes and then he's like... we could walkto my house or something. So I was like okay, sure. So we walked over there... and we were holding hands and stuff. When we got to his house we were just standing outside and we were talking... and he's just like well, i guess i should kiss you then? i was like sure, if you want to. So we kissed. We made out, standing outside of his house. Haha. Cars kept going by, as well as a train did. We kept laughing and stuff. He's such a sweetie... I was incredibly nervous around him for the first five mintues and then I was fine. I like him a lot. And he has super rad hugs. He told me he loves me. And he said he's sure of it. I was like aww. he said I was a good kisser too because I told him I was a bad one. I dunno tho. I ended up having to walk back to school by myself. But that's okay. I was just happy because I saw him. I'm falling for him, and this time, I'm not scared one bit. I don't have a lot to say now... so hey... I'm gonna do my homework.
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Yay... hahaha... Im a loser.   
07:29pm 02/12/2002
mood: giddy
Yay, for I get to see my Mark tomorrow! Wooo Hooo! lol. His little sister is scary. She is like 2ft tall and was all talking to me today. I was like oh, hi. and when she was gonna tell me she was his sister... she was like Im Mark's brother. It was hilarious. But hey. I've been super hyper today. And I've been super tired too. I don't sleep much these days, but I honestly don't mind it at all. I fell like I'd rather be running on short spans than over sleeping. I haven't over slept since this summer and it was all good then. Ya know, I really do like this band, Relient K. Haha. They're kinda different and I guess their some Christian band. But that's okay! Just like Skillet is pretty awesome :) Uhh... jamie needs to call me back. We've been weaving our friendship back together. It's great. I'm glad too. Stuff seems to be getting better lately. I like it. It makes me feel the slightest bit better to know that she and I are cool. ANyways... I gotta go to the orthodontist Friday at like 10:50. Fucking finally, but I hate those places, Yikes. They make your mouth hurt like a bitch, and their evil. I think I get to not go to school though. YAY! Oh well. Anyways, I'm out.
11:14pm 01/12/2002
  Who was the last person you...
1. saw? my mommy

2. touched? Alyssa... woa, that sounds bad

3. kissed? I don't remember

4. hugged? granny

5. watched a movie with? Alyssa

6. cried over? dont remember

7. cried on their shoulder? dunnot

8. said 'gee s/he's hot' about? Hmm... mark. haha

9. said 'I love you to'? Jamie!!!

10. had a crush on? your mom

11. thought 'gee s/he's smart' about? Pat...

12. were jealous of? i duno

13. felt sorry for? i duno

14. hated? i duno

15. got angry with? Cassidy

16. bought something for? i duno

17. got a present from? duno

18. called on the phone? the last person I called... umm I think Matt like a week ago

19. got a phone call from? mark

20. dreamed about at night? last night
Sometimes, I wish lies weren't real... so it would never happen   
08:07pm 30/11/2002
  Well... I talked to him. We're over, I knew that one. I'm not so depressed about it. I feel bad. I don't know if I'm gonna lose him as a friend or anything... he's down about it. N pissed. which i can so see why. But oh well It had to be done. I'm sorry. What more can I do. I can't change the fucking past.
Anyways, I'm gone.
Well at least I'm not waiting that long.   
07:34pm 30/11/2002
mood: shaky
Hmm... last nite I stayed at Alyssa's house. We went and say "They" It was good. Kinda scary. But ya know. Then we went back to her house and hung out. We stayed up till like 6am. and woke up at 8am and shit. We watched two movies and played video games... and just sat there and talked about a lot of stuff. She's really cool. I decided, I'm going to tell Matt. I don't wanna fuck it up. The kid means a lot to me... and I'm just kind of like... wow... yeah. I left him an offline msg. and Was like, well... it's something that has to do with age, and I'm too much of a pussy to tell you over the phone so yeah. It's kind of like lifting a burden in a way. I just hope he won't get pissed as hell that I lied about it. I dunno. Oh well... It hasn't been but two and a half weeks. Not much to worry about. Other than that... Jamie thinks me and Mark are going to hook up or something... I just don't know. Mark is this uber cool Freshman kid. He thinks I'm all way cute and junk... so I dunno. We have a lot in common... and he lives here too! lol. He's a scary kid... he changed his SN to I like Meagan. ANYWAYS! I dunno. I'm like blah, shaky, nervous, don't wanna tell Matt, but it's gotta be done. I can do it, it's not the first time. Fuck, if i could tell Dave, telling Matt will be like nothing. No more to talk about.
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Slide - Goo Goo Dolls   
09:09pm 27/11/2002
  Could you whisper in my ear
The things you want to feel
I'll give you anything
To feel it comin'
Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are
You live with all your faults

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide
Yeah we're gonna let is slide

Don't you love the life you killed
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you
Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
Something I can't charge
I'll live around it

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide
Mmmmm slide

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
May do you manna get married
Or run away

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
May do you wanna get married
Or run away

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
Yeah slide

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall

Oh Oh Oh slide
(Just slide between the sheets of all the beds you never knew)
Yeah slide
Why don't you slide into my room
Just slide into my room
Oh, we'll run away, run away, run away
03:00pm 27/11/2002
  When you sleep,
Think of me.
All that pain inside,
soonly deceased.
All your fear,
come wraping on my door.
I'll be along ways away,
dreaming in a land,
where nothing matters.
So while we're off,
take my hand,
and we can make this,
our Simple Plan.
Sometimes I'm scared to face you the way I wanna...   
12:46am 25/11/2002
mood: blah
I'm bored. Nothing to do. I think I'm gonna update my web page, and add more to it. I'm kinda out of it today. Just thinking about stuff too much. Wanna get something out, but I can't. And it's stupid. I don't think I'm gonna let it worry me. I miss Matt. I really wish he lived like... down the street from me. I wish Angela did too... so then we could hang out. And it would be all good. Yepp. but it's not. dave is arguing with me about who's ugly. It's quite funny. I made 7 bracelets today. They're awesome. :) They make my arm itch tho. Cause they go half way up. Bleh at them. I should go to sleep. I think I'm gonna take some caffiene pills around 1:30 and try to crash, be all hyper tomorrow. hehe. I don't have much to say. I;m out.
And You Can't Save Me...   
12:40am 25/11/2002
mood: lost
Name: Meagan

My friends call me: Mag

I live in: Hell as I know it.

E-mail me at: quit_playing_the_atari@hotmail.com

My birthday is: August 14th

My star sign is: Leo

Favorite movie: SLC Punk

Favorite Celebrity: Joey Jordison

Favorite Place: Not Here

Favorite Color(s): Pink and Black

Favorite Guy Friend: Dave

Favorite Sport: Soccer

The person I most look up to: Prolly Jordison

Best turn-on: biting and piercings

Worst Habbit: low self esteem

I can't resist: colored hair

My obsession is: Obsessing over weird stuff

Coolest Recent Experience: Umm it's like a month ago if that's recent, meeting Benji, Joel, Chuck, and both Chris'

Best Band: GC, Simple Plan, Starting Line, Slipknot

Most Juicy Secret: fuck you :)

I freakout when: I see snakes or my 'rents or something talk about self mutilation/suicide

I've got a crush on: Matt...
Can Tell Me Differently, Today  
12:59am 23/11/2002
mood: blank
Date? 11/23/2002

Time? 12:58 AM

Last person that called you? person: my mom phone: matt online:jamie

What are you wearing? black baggy pants with burgandy openings at the bottom, and a black deftones shirt.

Last 4 digits of your number? 7329

Best way for people to get in touch with you? Instant Messages

Place you are most often? My room

Last thing you ate? umm chicken alfredo with parmesean I think

Last thing you drank? Jones Naturals Bananaberry

Last thing you sang? "Toxicity" System Of A Down

x Relationships x

Are you single? no...

If so do you like someone? yes oh yes i do

Do they know? yes oh yes he does

His/her age? 16... I think... heh

How long have you liked him/her? mildly since this summer, kinda never said much, and then we stopped talking, and then we started talking, and I started liking him again...

Last fight you had with them? I don't thnk it was really a fight... I think it was a joking argument over being ugly and fat.

Do you think he likes you back? LOL that sounds like 1st grade! "Do you think he likes you back?" I think it's do you think he likes you, also? But yes, I think he does, well I hope so, he's the one who asked me out.

How often do you see them? Hmph... Never :(

Are you in love with this person? I wouldn't say so... I love him... but I'm not in love with him.

x In The Last 2 Weeks Have you.. x

Cried? no

Cut your hair? yessum

Worn a skirt? yes... over pants :)

Been mean? yeah

Been sarcastic? no, not at all...

Met someone new? Umm...YEAH!

Missed someone? just a little LOT

Hugged someone? 2 weeks... mmhmm, my Heather... lol

Wished upon a star? no

Laughed until you cried? I think so, on yesterday. lol!

Watched a sunrise/sunset? partially, if through a window counts.

Read a book for fun? yeah, I read A LOT.

Wanted to thank someone for being a great friend? Yeah...

What time is it now? 1:04 AM
You Can Have The Best of Me.   
12:53am 23/11/2002
mood: bored
Fallen for a friend? Yes

Fallen for a friend and got hurt? Yes

Been dumped? Yeah

Been in love? Yep, with an awesome guy who I'm still very close with and I wouldn't have it any other way. =)

Used someone? Not in a way that I could hurt them

Been used? Yeah, Josh... haha

Done something you regret? Oh yeah, you mean like cheat on people and stuff? yeah.

~Who Was the Last Person~

You talked to in person? My mom

You hugged? No idea, I haven't huged someone in days

You instant messaged? Umm... Corey

You yelled at? Jamie

You laughed with? Heather, yesterday. It might have been my mom tho too, I'm not sure.

You had a crush on? umm... Kyle I think. haha

That broke your heart? I thought he did, but fuck him... I could tell you Mike. But that was more the less just infatuation. I broke my own heart with faults of mine... more the less broke his heart; Dave.

~Do you~

Color your hair? yep

Have any tattoos? Not yet

Have any piercings? yep

Have a boyfriend? yeah

Habla Espanol? well, i can't speak it, but I can kinda translate.

Drink? sometimes

~Are You~

Psycho? Yes

Schizophrenic? on days that I feel like it.

Obsessive? sometimes...

Paranoid? at times...

Depressed? Sometimes

~If You Could~.

Be anywhere, where would you be? not here... probably hanging out with Angela, Dave, and Matt somewhere semi - warm.

Meet any famous person, who would it be? Umm, I think Joey Jordison, or Billy from GC because I didn't get to meet him...
OK Today was a Good Day...   
05:06pm 21/11/2002
mood: tired
Hmm... today... was... weird. I've been up since like 4:30 or something. I took some caffiene pill thing last nite at like... 1am and then took another at 7am this morning. I went to school... was hyper... passed my test, wrote Matt a letter, and was bored. We went to the IMAX theater thing. It was so fucked up. The ride there blew a goat and a half. People talked to me. People got pissed at me... so on. Me and Kalee laughed through the whole movie cause we suck like that. It was... strange! Then on the bus ride back no one talked to me and I was just not there. I sang a lot and people told me to shut up but I was likefuck them. I'm concerned about My Angela and Dave. I know it's all gonna work out... but still. Ahem... anyways... I know it'll work. I know it , I know it! because Dave told her that he gave her his heart to hold... and when Dave says that, he means it. I haven't eatn anything all day. I'm kinda hungry. I wanna talk to Matt. Rawr. But no phone call today I think. I'm tired. I dyed my hair last night. Pink, looks magentaish tho. I like it. I did it different too, so it's cute. I'm cold. And Tired. Sick of this shit. Don't wanna go to school tomorrow. Lunch got skipped today because of the mix it up shit. Me, Caitlin, and Jena didn't do it. We went to the art room instead. Go us. Anyways... not much more to say.
I'm gone
Living in Your Letters. the best way to die; suicide   
08:24pm 18/11/2002
mood: blah
Hmm, I'm tired, I don't feel good, I'm unhappy, and people need to shut up and leave me alone. School sucked. I quit eating lunch again because it sucks major ass. I just don't feel like it. I'm sick of this place already. I haven't been here for half a year yet. I miss Grand Haven. People weren't as stupid, clingy, and annoying. I want to go to sleep, but I gotta call Matt in like an hour. I got in trouble in 7th hour because I was laughing a lot. Me and Bethy didn't dress for gym. We had a sub and she yelled at us. She yelled at me, Jami, Caitlin, and Erica for supposedly not participating either which is bull shit because we did participate. I think I get a detention because this is my 3rd non dress. I'm just going to "forget" about it. Whoops. Oh fucking well. Anyways... I'm tired. I dunno what to write. I didn't do it, and I know what I'm talking about. Well, a form in a way... I drew on my leg with permanant marker and then scratched it off with scissors and just grided the blade of the scissors on my leg, back and fourth. My piercing is doing good still, I think.
I'm out
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Oops... heh   
02:44am 17/11/2002
mood: tired
Ahem, I haven't written in a lonnng time! Not much is really new though. I'm suppose to meet Steve tomorrow. I don't really care any more. I'm stupid. Theres Matt now. But I don't know why. I like him... but theres some reasons WHY I SHOULDNT be with him right now. Angela knows them. go her. What else... umm... I have fun hair. One side is pink, the other is blonde. I talked to Mike on... Thursday night and Yelled at him. It kinda went like this...
Me: You're an asshole... I don't like you
Him: Well... I love you too.
Me: I bet you do ;)
Me:Do you enjoy cheating on people?
Me:Do you enjoy making them feel like fucking idiots?
Him: I don't wanna hear it
Me: Neither did I, but I did, so too fucking bad...
and then he logged off.... well more was said, but that needs not be said!
I repierced my belly button Wednesday... but I did it crooked! So I had to take it out and re do it... like I did on Thrusday. I did it right this time. haha, it kinda hurts tho, yeah... people keep hitting it n stepping on it. Stuffs been goin all right lately I guess. My brothers back in jail. Hah, loser. I've been in some fucked up moods lately.. dunno why. Kinda wanna cut again but I've strayed away. I found my razors the other day too... fuck. I'll be okay, I hope. I'm still confused about Matt though. I mean... I really like him... and yeah... but it's just that, AHHH he doesn't live here and stuffs... and yeah... I dunno. He did call me tonight though...we talked for like 20 mins... it was all good. I wish he did live around here tho, it would be cool. I've known him for too long. He's suppose to come visit me by this coming summer, NO MATTER WHAT. Like Angela should. But now, shes out getting drunk with Zaden. So I'm mad at her for that because SHE SAID SHE QUIT! bad AnGaMaKa... oh well, me still love her. LoL... I'm tired. Bye Bye.
And I wish I was good enough, good enough to know, good enough to see...   
01:07am 06/11/2002
mood: bored
AHHHH I'm so bored. I've been bored for the past 5 days! I've been sick, and it sucks quite a bit. I don't know when I last updated... but I had a viral infection in my throat. Anyways... that sucked, I missed school today, yesterday, and Friday. I did talk to Matt today though, finally. We agreed that we should stay in touch... so he called me after we talked for a while... and we decided we should write each other letters. I was so fucking happy to talk to him. It was awesome. Umm... In like a week and a half... woo hoo for Steve the Skirt Boy! I'm all hell thrilled for then. I'm gonna have so much damn make up work from the three days I missed I bet... and then I'll prob have to do it all this weekend... which blows cause I gotta go to Desiraes house to do some project. I'm at my dad's too. BUt then next week is like all half days and such so yea. I'm gonna go now.
Later kiddies
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Wow, thanks a lot!   
10:26pm 01/11/2002
mood: pissed off
Ok... well... Brandy and Leigh are good. Heather compromised... she gets to stay at ZHS. Umm... Last night was pretty gay. It was way cold. I didn't go to school today. I went to work with my mom tonight for like an hour or so. Came home... sat here. Umm... I'm royaly pissed at Ryan... as in Guitar Ryan. Yeah... so... I'd like to tell him thanks for leading me on and lying to me. Fucking asshole. But Hey, whatever. I guess i don't care. I finally talked to Kyle today. yay. that made me happy. I have been in a shitty mood. Tomorrow my whore of cousins are coming over. They're staying the night. I dont like them. No. My moms been being a bitch, people suck Oh well. I don't care. Angela is going away. I can't talk about it though. It's made my day even worse... I almost started crying. yeah. I was like wow... no way. But I dunno. I tryed to tell her. I have to tell Dave. I don't want to tell him. But I told her I would. SHit Shit Shit! FUck.
I'm out
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I <3 SIMPLE PLAN!!! LoL   
08:35pm 29/10/2002
mood: dorky
Hey, well... whats new... Hmm... I unno. It's almost Wednesday Already. Yay, weekends are almost here! I haven't talked to Kyle since... uhh... Thursday! No good, damnit! I started my guitar lessons yesterday, i ain't too shabby. LoL, I learn fast. thats good. yeah! I need to burn a CD. People piss me off at school. Heather... umm... she left. Her house. Her dad hit her. and all her parents have been doing is bitching at her... so she left. I'm scared for Brandy and Leigh, she left it up to them to tell their 'rents. And their rents spazz out. It's going to lean all on them too, because Leigh is the youngest, and Brandy's the oldest :( I must say, that was kind of shitty of Heather to do. Her mom picked Leigh and Brandy up from the bus stop, and you could see how pissed she was. She mouthed to Brandy "Where the hell is Heather?" Brandy just kinna shrugged... and her mom mouthed "That little bitch!" I was like Uh Oh, Leigh was crying cause of it before school. But I dunno.
I wanna talk to Kyle!!!
My TIffany is back! She's got this tube in her arm... and she could have died... she had Spinal Menenjitus*sp* I was like yikes! But it's awesome to have her back, I missed her. Ok, well... I'm going to go get my SP lyrics :)
I made pretty bracelets... well another make og "hold on" and one that says "perfuktly addicktd" Yeh... My book is good so far. I also made a neckelace out of... electrical like wire, and put a pink star on it... and saftey pinned it on.
Ok I'm gone
<3 Maggy
Bleh Bleh, me bored.   
01:29am 27/10/2002
mood: bored
Hmm... my Saturday sucked. Friday wasn't too bad though. I FINALLY got my Satanic Bible! whoo hoo.. and the Finger Eleven cd, The greyest of blue skies. It's very cool. I was suppose to go to my dad's today. Didn't wanna. Woke up around 12-1ish watched Scooby Doo. Took a shower, yadda yadda, hung out with Mario, came back here around 8:20 and sat around talking w/ him till about 10. Then Andy came and left because my mom wanted Andy gone this weekend. SHe was being a major bitch. yeh. Kept yellin and shit. I'm talking to Dave for once! :-0 I <3 Finger Eleven! The guitarist is sexxxy :)
Me go now
bye byes
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Saftey Pins and Ihop sugar packets rawk my sawks!   
10:29pm 24/10/2002
mood: blah
Hmm.. I went to school today. Bleh, sucked. I sit by shitty people cause she switched seats in 1 and 2 hrs. Tiff's been gone. She's in the hospital, she's pretty sick but going to be Okay. SO, that's good. I miss her this week, a lot! I talked to Kyle... again, ya. LoL... I was telling him how I wanted to bite him on Sat. and he was like... ok? and then I was like, but I prefer it if someone bit me. And he's like, you're a masochist, aren't you. I was just like... Basically... and then he goes, I see no point in it... and then... ANDY'S GIRLFRIEND CALLED! :( Now I'm talking to Corey, He made me the prettiest star. haha... I'll post it :) I love it. I have SOOOO much homework I should be doing. It's only 9:30... god.. I'm tired too.
Today was shitty. I don't like people still. My glasses hurt behind my ear! :( Bad glasses. I want to wander aimlessly around the streets by myself... but I'm scared of those pedophiles. haha. I'm listening to MxPx today. Yay! I haven't been listening to GC all day! :-0 I went to Ihop and got fat today. but it's so yummi. I stole like 352845456451 sugar packets. LoL. Then I went to Office Max, with hopes of seeing Em there again like last time. LoL. I don't have to stay at my dad's till Sat. again. yay, so I can sit on my ass and be a loser. Bleh. All right, I'm gone.
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